Ride or Die

I always have envied any relationship that has this title. Whether it be family, friends, or romantic partner. I felt like that is the most envied trait to obtain. Don’t get me wrong, I get that you need your ride or die to be honest with you as well. But that person will always have your best interest at heart and strives to give as much as they get. 

Well, for too damn long my ride or die has been Drugs.  The things I was willing to do for drugs. Who I shut down and out for drugs. The toxic relationship I’ve been in to enable me to get my drugs. 

Well I know that now that the ultimate ride or die is GOD. I have always believed in God and considered myself a Christian, but putting him above everything? Imma keep it a hundred– that’s not been in my heart. I’ve wanted what I’ve wanted , not what he’s wanted. 

I want to love Jesus like I’ve loved drugs and oblivion. Love him more than my children. To search for Him as relentlessly as I did when I would be running low on dope. Instead of dialing the entire directory of dealers I knew, I should’ve been digging through the Bible and searching for his Peace. I see this now. 

I have no idea how He can love us despite our shortcomings, but I know He is watching and guiding the steps I take. I know that He is the ONLY reason I have come this far. 

I tried killing myself several times in my life. I thank Him for not allowing the plans to take seed. My children would of never been born if it had, nor would I see what I am capable of when I place my trust in the One and Only King of Kings. I just wanted to take the time to let any and all know that I’m grateful and humbled to know what I know today. I’m thankful for Jesus dying for me and everyone else, regardless if they believe in Him or not. He loves you just like He loves me. 
xEmilie Annex
-Jesus replied, I tell you the TRUTH, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. John 8:34 –

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